Sunday, June 28, 2009

What to do if you get cyber bullied.

Sometimes you just have to let things roll off your back.  There are more people on the internet with more power to make things happen than you do.  You have to learn to accept that.  If they want to mess with you, they will.  And there's really nothing you can do to stop it except just continue to represent all the good things you stand for, without letting all the bad things flood your mind all the time.

When in doubt, find another chatroom, where people are more intelligent and genial.  I find that Books and Literature 2 on Yahoo Messenger is a great place to find intelligent conversation.  And it's not even always about books, but sometimes it is.  And books are a great way to get smarter too.  Not just the internet.  And books don't bully you.  They never have and they never will.

Turning over a new leaf.

Just about everyone has been cyberbullied and just about everyone has been a cyberbullyer.  That doesn't make it right.  There is always time to change.  Life is about changes.  Positive changes, negative changes, but there is no reason to take negative changes in your life out on other people.  It's wrong and it needs, if not to stop, then to be reduced.  We can't go on badgering people.  It's wrong, we know that.  There are many forms of commmunication that can be satisfying other than laying into people all the time.  I know we can find them.  I'm not perfect either.

This article from my friend Ann, is worth reprinting.

Cyberbullying--What It Is and Why You Should Care 
Cyberbullying

Bullying is not new; neither is cyberbullying, but it's easier to carry out because it requires no confrontation, reaches a larger audience, and can be more damaging. Here are some examples of cyberbullying from © WiredKids, Inc.:
Instant Messaging/Text Messaging Harassment
Hateful Anonymous Messages sent via email or text messaging
Bashing Websites: Example: Vote for the Ugliest Girl at XYZ Middle School
Anonymous Death Threats
Making False Accusations to Child's Email Provider
Sending Unwanted Pictures Through Email or Cell Phones
Stealing Passwords
Defamatory Blogs
Sending Porn or Other Junk Email and IMs
Uploading Child's Pictures to Unsavory Web Sites
Impersonation
Sending Malicious Code (viruses)
Interactive gaming
Definition of Cyberbullying

In short, cyberbullying is "willful and repeated harm inflicted through the medium of electronic text" (Patchin & Hinduja, 2006).

The constructs of “malicious intent,” “violence,” “repetition,” and “power differential” appear most salient when constructing a comprehensive definition of traditional bullying, and are similarly appropriate when attempting to define this new permutation. To be sure, cyberbullies are malicious aggressors who seek implicit or explicit pleasure or profit through the mistreatment of another individual. Violence is often associated with aggression, and corresponds to actions intended to inflict injury (of any type). One instance of mistreatment, while potentially destructive, cannot accurately be equated to bullying, and so cyberbullying must also involve harmful behavior of a repetitive nature. Finally, due to the very nature of the behavior, cyberbullies have some perceived or actual power over their victims. While “power” in traditional bullying might be physical (stature) or social (competency or popularity), online power may simply stem from proficiency. That is, youth who are able to navigate the electronic world and utilize technology in a way that allows them to harass others are in a position of power relative to a victim. There are two major electronic devices that young bullies can employ to harass their victims from afar. First, using a personal computer a bully can send harassing emails or instant messages, post obscene, insulting, and slanderous messages to online bulletin boards, or develop web sites to promote and disseminate defamatory content. Second, harassing text messages can be sent to the victim via cellular phones.

CITATION: Patchin, J. W. and Hinduja, S. (2006). Bullies Move beyond the Schoolyard: A Preliminary Look at Cyberbullying. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice, 4(2), 148-169.



Here is more: 

Offenders of cyberbullying tend to rationalize their behavior in certain ways. Half (50%) justify it as being done in fun, instructive (22.2%), or as an indirect tool used to strengthen victims (13%).


What is the school's role in this? 

When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right. They also, often lose. Schools can be very effective brokers in working with the parents to stop and remedy cyberbullying situations. They can also educate the students on cyberethics and the law. 

If schools are creative, they can sometimes avoid the claim that their actions exceeded their legal authority for off-campus cyberbullying actions. We recommend that a provision is added to the school's acceptable use policy reserving the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety and well-being of student while in school. This makes it a contractual, not a constitutional, issue.